Golf. It Hurts.

So we’re in Hilton Head. And I don’t play golf. And I work in advertising. What’s wrong with this equation? My career is doomed and I’m missing out on playing on one of the world’s great courses.

Caro’s Mom has a place in Harbor Town right across from the Links. We go over for breakfast one morning and afterwards we check out the pro shop. Outside of which hangs the above strange painting. There is something – is it a caddy? is it Jack as a kid? Is it a tumor? – poking out of his rib cage. The artist has taken the liberty of painting a nice blood red rim around the child skull appendage on Nicklaus. I don’t get it – if there is someone out there who golfs who can decipher this bizarre tribute to Jack, please send me a comment.

Holy S**t.

Once inside, the party opens up into a multi-venue blast. There are bars everywhere, crazy Mad Max style go-go dancers, a DJ spinning in the center topped with an enormous canopy, a dance club, a stage where Incubus is playing. They can’t throw a party this big in Hollywood. It puts a movie premiere to shame. This was like ultra-electronica Japanese game playing samurai computer animated craziness – with alcohol. We got some cool carry-on luggage (I know, odd, but useful) which is actually the same maker as the laptop bag I got from my company, so now I have a full biz travel set. Hey, thanks a lot Sony!

Dance Dance Revolution

You are a stud. Yes, you, geeky Asian dude. You who rule the Dance Dance Revolution machine at the Metreon in San Francisco. Caro was at her baby shower in Berekeley, I was roaming downtown San Francisco in search of anything more entertaining than cadres of homeless men hunting the sidewalks for phantom-crack. The Metreon is a useless piece of real estate; it’s the world’s largest non-mall posing as the world’s most empty and underutilized mall. Someone told me it’s to be no more and will be ripped from the ground, disassembled, demolished, revamped or revitalized. But for now, it’s the home of the geekiest dude of all time (okay, I’ll say it, on first glance you might mistake him for being retarded) but idiot savant, or no, this kid had every teenage girl in the place lining up to take turns challenging his mastery and domination of the dance dance machine. I think after this I ended up roaming over towards Union Square and buying some khaki pants from The Gap. Real excitement in SFO, aka Cincinnati-by-the-Sea.